Inspired by the book Atomic Habits by James Clear we are going to ponder how we identify ourselves shapes our behaviors and habits. With so much talk about identity these days, I thought it was interesting that I really hadn’t considered the obvious, how we think of ourselves…our identity, in terms of how it shapes our habits and how we walk through life and the rub that happens when we don’t have healthy, accurate identities.
I have chosen to identify as a person who takes care of herself, who makes healthy choices. This happened in earnest last November. That means I feed myself healthy food, spend more time in the kitchen preparing healthy meals-I have radically changed my diet. I’ve cut sugar and wheat (yes-those highly addictive substances) successfully. I’ve started the habit of doing a quick exercise routine every morning, non-negotiable habits that I just bang out in 15 minutes. By changing how I think of myself, my identity in terms of health, I have begun changing how I take care of my body. Little by little I’ve made healthy tweaks here and there. Over time, my body has begun to lose excess weight, inflammation has gone down, my joints don’t feel as stiff and my energy has blossomed. I’m stronger. I don’t crave junk food anymore. I sleep better. I’ve managed to not get sick for more than 18 months, which hasn’t happened my entire adult life.
By identifying as a writer, it makes it easier to create the habit of writing everyday, vs. when I didn’t identify as a writer or think of myself that way. I wanted to write since I was a kid, but didn’t receive much encouragement in school. Therefore, I didn’t identify myself as a writer, so I never pursued it. Over the past year I decided to write and so, whether or not anyone reads my writing, it doesn’t change the fact that I am a writer because I am developing the habit of writing. By identifying as a blogger, I have a little fire lit in me to make certain I make regular blog posts….etc. There is a mental accountability when I call myself a blogger. I would be lying if I called myself a blogger but didn’t write and post anything. I would be lying if I said I was an athlete but never got off the couch. I would be lying if I said I was eating a healthy diet but in truth had a junk food stash I consume routinely. If I want to be a violinist, that violin hanging on the wall in my home office needs to be pulled down and practiced. If I never play or practice my violin, to say that I am a violinist is not living in truth. It is said if you want to achieve a goal, change your identity to be the kind of person who attains the goal.
At my church for instance, they needed people to step and serve as Sunday school teachers for the kids. I can tell you it was with not a little fear and trepidation that I said, ‘yes’ to the need. I didn’t see myself as a Sunday school teacher. Those first graders can be intimidating! I had a lot of resistance. I was intimidated by the whole thing-and I know it must have come through in class. I was stressed out every Sunday I taught. And then….something happened. I realized that I wasn’t connecting with the kids. I decided to get on their level, to connect and make it fun. You see, the image I had of being the teacher put all manner of pressure on myself to have perfect crafts that were actually too complicated for the kids I was teaching. I had this concept that the kids would be hanging on every word I spoke to teach them the love of Jesus. They’re first graders! What was I thinking?!?! When I changed the image to modeling the love of Jesus to them and being a connected teacher, class went from all of us sitting at the big Costco tables, trying to get their attention (it was like herding cats!) to sitting on the floor with them, reading the bible story with them, talking with them, engaging them in discussion of what we just read and asking them what it meant. Sundays I taught went from a box I was checking, trying to do the right thing and survive the 90 minutes by the skin of my chinny chin chin (but not really identifying as a teacher) to something I actually look forward to and enjoy. I decided I needed to become (identify as) a connected teacher and became a connected teacher.
So what goals are sitting out there that you haven’t achieved? What thing do you want to do that you haven’t done? Is there a hobby you want to pick up, but haven’t started? Is there a need or void in the community that you see the need for a person to fill, but don’t identify yourself as the kind of person who does that? A harder question (because I specialize in tough questions)….is there something you identify as that is incongruent with who you actually are and who God made you to be? Are there changes you need to make in your habits or in your identity?
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