I got a nudge to write on this subject earlier this week but didn’t take a stab at it because, well, it’s hard, it’s inconvenient and, if I were honest, people might throw rotten fruit. Then I got another nudge and well….couldn’t ignore it. It is so hard to write and nail everything you want to say, especially the hard things, so that my writing is sprinkled with love and not taken out of context. Let me be clear, my writing is always sprinkled with love, but I don’t know that I convey it every time. I don’t know that my words always convey tenderness, though I want them to. True love, when we look at love biblically, in 1 Corinthians 13:1-9 is fierce. It’s not always rainbows and unicorns. It’s not always a soft pillow and a cool drink. True love is hard to execute at street level. True love, I would say, is impossible without the Holy Spirit holding our hand and guiding us, walking us through the hard things in life. And true love, requiring us to speak truth, in love, will draw anger at times. We live in a world now where, if you speak truth, even truth sprinkled with heavy doses of love, is considered ‘hate speech’ because now, it seems you are vilified by people who don’t agree with you, simply because they don’t agree with you. It now doesn’t matter what I say, it will be offensive to someone, even if I say it with love and kindness. Does that mean I should be silent? Heavens no! To be silent wouldn’t be loving. Love requires truth.
Someone recently said to me, ‘But Christine, I just want it (life) to be easy.’ Oh how I understand! It is so easy to be overwhelmed with life. It is so easy to become paralyzed by fear of the unknown. Fear of not being a good enough spouse or parent. Fear of not doing all the ‘things’ perfectly or even good enough. It’s surely easy to be tempted to run away. I remember wanting to run away from life, my thoughts focused on myself, ultimately, and those thoughts screamed, ‘You can’t…, you aren’t…, you won’t…….’ Truthfully, I just wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner and sleep. I did for roughly 18 months, the latter part of my high school years. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. Was I chronically fatigued? Yes! I literally fell asleep at the dinner table. I slept 18 hours of a day. Too pooped to party. When I look back on it now, I believe (and I could be wrong but I don’t think so) it was more connected to my thoughts than it was an actual physical illness causing my fatigue. Were my thoughts manifesting physical symptoms? Absolutely! Our thoughts and words we tell ourselves are powerful. God spoke the universe and everything in it into existence. His Words are more powerful than mine-but that doesn’t mean my (our) thoughts and words aren’t powerful, for they are. “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21. Emphasis mine. There is so much packed into this one sentence. I think it applies so broadly. On the surface it brings to mind a warning when it comes to gossip. We are either building others up or tearing them down. It can reap life or death-in relationships, in other people’s lives, etc. But that is when I look at it on the surface. What about what we tell ourselves? You are a rare find indeed if you don’t talk to yourself. We all do. And what we tell ourselves will reap life or death. I don’t often use words to paint with a broad brush, but I will go out on a limb here and risk it all by saying, ‘all’. We all talk to ourselves. Some of us talk audibly to ourselves, (I have this tendency-especially when I’m on focused task mode and I am trying to accomplish the impossible); others tend to have internal talk, often at a subconscious level. Thoughts that run amuck. We are telling ourselves the truth, (the whole truth) or we are telling ourselves lies.
I had a split with reality when I was younger. Cognitive dissonance is what they call it. I thought life should be easier than it is, and so in protest, I collapsed. I ran away from all the scary in my fear of failure, of being not enough, of never succeeding, etc. Someone dared to speak truth into my life, kick my butt, and I am forever indebted. I didn’t like what he had to say. He didn’t say it in a way that landed softly and I resented him for a long time, thinking him cruel. Could he have said what I needed to hear in a way that was loving and still got his point across? I believe so. However, it doesn’t matter how it landed-the bottom line is, he loved me enough to speak the truth to me, from a heart of concern and love for me, and I am forever indebted, it was life-changing for the good. He challenged me to not run from life, to walk in truth.
This post is wayyy to short to go into the depth needed to cover the issue completely. But I will finish by saying this, ‘Follow your heart; just do what makes you happy’ is probably the worst advice you will ever hear. Should I follow my heart and do what I please without regard for consequences it will reap for others in my life? We need a guide. We need The Guide. Psalm 121:1-3 “I lift my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-he who watches over you will not slumber…….”
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