We simply don’t know what we don’t know. We don’t know what’s possible sometimes until someone helps us see the possibility of a changed outcome different from what’s in our current narrative.
In Parts 1 and 2 https://mustardseedcoachingandmediation.com/there-is-bad-news-but-there-is-good-news-too/ we talked about childhood trauma, the destruction that can result consequentially but not necessarily ultimately. We talked about how we think about our stress and how we stress about our stress or (not) can radically effect the health and length of our lives and relationships. Whether we have stress related illnesses and shortened life spans is secondary to how we think about and what we do with our trauma. We can focus on the lack, the pain, the injustice; let bitterness, anger and helpless thinking grow and consume us, alternatively…..by turning our pain into passion and purpose change not only our health, relationships and life-but infuse that comfort and hope into others.
I received permission to share this story. I have a friend whom I admire so much, who I have had the privilege of coaching and watching grow. Letting go of being consumed by unthinkable childhood neglect and trauma-emotional and physical abuse, daring to write a different story-expand the narrative and overcome, she then turned that mental prison of pain into a passion to help kids and make a difference in their lives. She has become the encourager she wishes she had in her life at such an early vulnerable time in her life. She teaches and is absolutely a passionate advocate for the kids she works with. She is a mama bear of protection for her students. This terrible crippling pain she bore, God has turned for good. With courage and by faith, she has partnered with the Lord to change the narrative of her life’s story. She has a heightened awareness of ‘trouble’ she can see in her students’ lives, which she discusses with her boss and together they advocate for these students who show signs of being ‘at risk’ for neglect/trauma or just signs that the child might be struggling for whatever reason, positively encouraging parents and bringing awareness to them. I would call this heightened awareness a ‘gift’ that was born out of what would otherwise be a dead-end ugly tale of abuse and trauma. It reminds me of the scripture,
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave your or forsake you.” And 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me (Paul), “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Finally, and this is the hard one…..this is the one wherein I offend people. In this scripture, when you really peel it apart, you realize that you can realize a different outcome. We are challenged to look at our trials opposite of what would come to our natural way of thinking, because He is writing for us a new story-a story of hope, of strength so that we lack nothing. I understand that in the throes of traumatic experiences this is a supernatural ask-we need Jesus and the Holy Spirit’s help-and faith.
James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
I know that by sharing this, I will push some buttons. It is absolutely counterintuitive to our way of thinking (it’s supernatural thinking). I hear you asking, “Christine, what drug are you on to suggest that we ‘count it all joy’ when we are suffering, when we face trials of many kinds.” I know. It sounds rather insulting doesn’t it? But read this in context. I’m not suggesting that our pain doesn’t hurt-they call it pain for a reason! If you have suffered trauma-I grieve with you-we need to make room for grief.
What I am saying is, at the same time, being open to the idea of God (Who knows the end from the beginning) having a bigger plan for our pain than to leave us in a dead-end, sad story, with no redemption, no hope. To be open to challenging our ‘dead-end’ thinking, realizing that if our thinking doesn’t change-then there really is a dead-end. A dead-end often consumed with bitterness, dysfunction, stress-related disease, broken relationships, etc. etc…
In this passage He is suggesting we focus forward. He is acknowledging that it’s a test of our faith to ‘think differently’ in our trials of many kinds, but that test will produce perseverance (doggedness, tenacity, steadfastness, unyielding holding on in following a course of action, a dogged and determined holding on) -which to me implies strength. And that perseverance will move us to maturity, completeness-lacking nothing. This of course is a short blog post with a huge topic. I exceeded the word count that I usually aim to keep my posts under-and this simply cannot answer all the ‘yes, but’ questions. This is a deep well. Please don’t hear what I am not saying. I am not saying bad is good. Bad is absolutely bad. Sin against us isn’t good, left to itself. But God……can bring good from bad. His ways are higher than our ways as the heavens are above the earth…..there is mystery.
So I challenge my thinking and take it to the mat instead of letting my thinking take me to the mat. I want that for me, and I want that for you.