Networks, as it turns out aren’t just for computer systems or the sheer number people you are ‘linked-in’ to on line, how many Facebook likes you have or how many people are in your business to business network. Ok Christine, that’s interesting but what does it have to do with me? I am so glad you asked. It has everything to do with you and how you interact with the world, your personal relationships, your business relationships, your personal success. It turns out, each of your memories is part of a network of memories and thoughts.
Why, for instance, in marriage do you find yourself or your spouse in the same cycle of Groundhog Day type conflict? It’s the same fight, it cycles around month after month, week after week, the same dispute, the same feelings, the same fears, the same anger, the same withdrawal and retreat, the same sock chewing. Or similarly, why do you have adequate skills or education to pursue a dream job but find yourself stuck, unable to take the next step-you want to advance, you dream of taking your skills, gifts and passions, daring to live a different life-maybe striking out on your own but don’t and you have friction between what you are doing presently and living a life you could live or are called to live-but it’s just darn scary. I’m not talking about not being grateful for where you are or that you should be uncomfortable-maybe you are exactly where you should be, but if there is friction, dissatisfaction and desire to change or are called to something else that you aren’t because fear is running the show-maybe it’s something to look at.
Do you find yourself ever having a disproportionate reaction to something or someone around you and it just doesn’t make sense but seems to happen time and time again? Has your spouse or someone else pointed this out to you? What is the underlying thought that has hijacked your thought life? Is it, ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘Everyone else can attain that but not me’, or ‘People aren’t trustworthy’. It could be that you are reacting to a current situation that has an unpleasant emotion that is similar to an emotion or feeling associated with an earlier unprocessed memory, even as far back as childhood. Or perhaps you came to a conclusion based upon an earlier life event that isn’t a true story, but you didn’t question it because we humans tend not to challenge our own thinking. We are kind of prideful that way and think our thoughts are all gospel truth, when in fact they often aren’t and can remain unchallenged for a lifetime.
It is possible that the chronic arguments with your spouse where you are being continually triggered by him/her can be associated with earlier unprocessed events in your life that are plaguing you and sabotaging the success and harmony in your marriage. It is entirely possible that what you are reacting to now is ‘hooked’ to something from a past memory (in your subconscious). Our brains like to make associations. It’s a survival thing. The more I can automate and associate, the faster I can react when needed, either on the job or if I happen upon a bear on the hiking trail which is awesome and appropriate to have that emergency response to a true threat on your life, the problem is when you respond to your spouse as if s/he is a bear when they are simply not threatening your life. The problem is when we navigate life as if the building is on fire all the time or react to someone as if they have a gun in your face when in fact, they simply asked a question.
If you are ready to dig deeper and break free from the things that are interfering with your inner-peace, marriage and success, go to www.mustardseedcoachingandmediation.com and schedule your no-fee 30 minute Zoom consultation with Christine now. Make 2023 different!
Click here to check out my Christian Marriage Troubleshooting 6 Week Course for all kinds of tools to think differently and navigate the relationship challenges that come with marriage: Christian Marriage Trouble-Shooting 6 Week Course | Mustard Seed (teachable.com)