Discouraged…….

Ever feel discouraged?  Ever feel bombarded by the voices in your head that shout mean things to you that you would never say to another human?  Ever think that maybe, just maybe….God got the wrong address and maybe you don’t have what it takes to do what you thought you were called to do-that maybe even you have a passion for but you are struggling getting your project off the ground, floundering a bit?

What do you tell yourself in those times?  Do you capitulate and get sucked into the pit or do you fight back?  What do you do to fight back?   Do you just tell yourself positive affirmations that don’t necessarily feel true-that maybe don’t speak the ‘whole truth’ into the situation?  Stop!

It’s fascinating that when we are in that situation and we try to just infuse ourselves with ‘positive thinking’ -it tends not to be sticky or effective.  Our brains want the truth at the deepest core.  Deep down, our brains know when we are telling it a lie.  I am not a fan of ‘positive thinking’ but I am a fan of ‘accurate thinking’.  Let me explain. 

If you tell yourself something that you don’t believe, that isn’t the whole truth, at your core, your brain won’t accept it.  There is a lot of fall out when we do this. For instance, when I have someone come in for coaching, and we identify a thought that is not true, if I try to just tell the person what to think instead-if that person hasn’t accepted the new thought, hasn’t changed their thinking, I can talk until I am blue in the face and that client won’t accept it deep down.  We really do want the whole truth.  It’s much more effective to disprove the lie…..literally change the thinking by taking that toxic thought (that isn’t true) to court.  Is there enough evidence to prove in a court of law that defeating thought?  Can you prove it beyond a reasonable doubt? (Doubt it!).  If you presented it to a jury, but the other side was presenting an argument against your toxic thought, who would win?

So instead of giving in to the pity party and that very slippery slope subject to the pull of gravity that will take you down when toyed with, pick yourself up. Start taking the thought to the mat. 

• Ask yourself if it (the thought) is absolutely true.  Provable beyond a shadow of a doubt in a court of law true…..
• Instead of gathering evidence for your original toxic thought, start gathering evidence against it. 
• Expand your crappy little story.  Take your toxic thought, write it down.  Then at the end of it write, ‘………but’…… or, ‘but God’, ….or,  ‘and……’ and write something that is true and encouraging.  This is how you tell the whole truth.  Do not be afraid to go on a positive rant as you expand your story!  This creates distance between you and your crappy little story.  You don’t need much distance to turn your thinking around.
• Play with the possibility of holding another thought.  The opposite thought.  Ask yourself, “What if I thought _______________________(the opposite of your crappy little thought). “ Who would I be if I didn’t or couldn’t think this thought? “  “How would I interact with the world if I couldn’t think this thought?”  “What positive things would I be engaging in if I couldn’t think this thought?”
• Get out of your head and take action.  Go serve someone-do a random act of kindness.  Disprove the all-encompassing, toxic thought you were having about yourself.  It’s hard to be taking positive action and hold a negative thought at the same time.
• Go on a gratitude rant.  Start thanking God for all His goodness, all His provision.  There isn’t a breath we take, a meal we enjoy, a job we have, an athletic talent we have that doesn’t come ultimately from the Lord, the Creator of the universe. 
• And finally, but not least, speak God’s Word over your situation.  Tell your crappy little story-in terms of, “I feel__________________________________(crappy little story) but God’s Word says, _____________________________________and________________________________and ________________________________________________ and so, even though I am having a hard time believing it, I will trust what God says about me and keep moving.
• Talk to a trusted friend or counselor or coach.

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