If you have spent any time around the kitchen, you are probably familiar with the term, ‘Fix it and forget it.’ I was thinking it became a popular slogan in the 70’s when the crockpot became the must-have kitchen appliance for the women who were leaving the traditional housewife role and joining the work force, outside the home (not to be confused with the workforce inside the home). But way back in the 50’s, (that would be 1950’s for you youngsters), Ron Popeil of Showtime Rotisserie infomercial fame coined the term, ‘Set it and forget it’, a precursor to ‘Fix it and forget it’.
“Christine,” you ask, “where are you going with all this?” I am so glad you asked! I am a born fixer. I almost can’t not fix things. As a coach, I help people fix their relationships and overcome (fix) their personal challenges. As a natural fixer, though, it is easy for me to get outside of my lane and start fixing things that aren’t mine to fix. Sometimes it’s tough to stay in my lane and to know when to help and when to step back and get out of the way of what God is doing. Often when God is up to somethin’ good (of course He is always up to something good because He is the definition of good!), it can look like, (from a human perspective) a complete disaster, slow rolling trainwreck, or a dumpster fire on wheels-etc. You get my point. I just spoke with a mom who has adult kids that are going through big, adult, ‘growing pains’. Yes, we still go through growing pains wayyyy into adulthood, but I don’t think we often think of them as growing pains. We forget that we are in a period of growth throughout our lifetime. We often live with the very unrealistic expectation, (delusion) that when we hit our early 20’s, the growing pains will be over. That we have somehow, arrived. As those pains continue on into our 30’s, 40’s, 50’s – we are slapping our foreheads as if this is something, odd. I would like to hope these pains would end in our 50’s, not yet being in my 60’s, but reality is that when I am in my 60’s I will still be going through them and, if I am fortunate, into my 80’s and 90’s. I hope I am still growing and learning by then, though, I know there is discomfort in that. This side of the dirt, we will experience pain, period. We will always have things to address in ourselves. Those failed human beings around us that resemble us, also will be needing to grow too. And God, being God, loving us so much that He doesn’t want us to be lacking anything, continues to let us experience discomfort, so that we are prodded to grow, usually in our areas of weakness. Like a good shepherd prods his sheep to keep them moving the right direction, we get prodded too.
When we are natural born fixers, it can be tempting to jump in and intervene where we may be wanted, but are not actually needed and possibly, in the way. This is my Achilles. Never wanting to see anyone in pain or distress, I naturally want to ease suffering. Just like that mom who is watching those adult kids go through hard things and wanting to fix it and forget it, it is hard to watch, hard to refrain. Sometimes when we ‘fix it’ we are getting in the way of what God is up to. God is the best parent ever. Sometimes He lets His kids skin their knees a little bit. I remember when I was learning to ride a bike, (wayyyy back in the 70’s) with my dad, holding the seat and running from behind. Eventually he had to let me go. Looking back in my mind’s eye, from a parent’s perspective, it had to have been the hardest thing. Letting go. Knowing that there would be the eventual crash. He had to let me ‘learn’ which included a few crashes along the way. A few skinned knees, elbows and hands as I took my share of headers. I am sure it breaks God’s heart to watch his kids fall down and skin their knees. A good parent knows when to let go and in faith, let God do the good work in us that He promises to bring to completion.
For further study, read James 1:2-4.
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